NaNoWriMo, and Insanity

Hi everyone! Tomorrow is November 1st, (insert where had time gone statement here) and I wanted to give you a heads up on what you will be seeing from me.

I'm participating in an event known as NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, for the third time. The first time was a failure, but last year I was successful! I managed to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days without going inane, and I self published it in June. It was awesome.

This year I'll be working in a sequel to last year's book. I have no idea what it's called yet, but I'm so excited to get this story down on paper.  Also, keep watching this space for updates concerning my first book, Iron Labyrenth.  Soon there will be lots of new ways you can buy it if you are interested.

With that in mind, there will be a lot of me talking about word counts, procrastination, character development, and general insanity. Do not be alarmed. I am not going crazy. If I describe someone fictional character in terms if being real, I'm just trying to work out their story. There will be a lot if that. This also goes for unanswered phone calls, text messages, and emails; I'm not ignoring you, just trying to hit my daily word count.

There you have it! This is my next month in a nut shell. If you want more information on NaNoWriMo, please visit their web site at NaNoWriMo.org. It's a wonderful program if you have never tried it. Who knows, maybe there is a novel inside you!

My thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey, and What I think you should read instead…or also.

Disclaimer: Not for anyone under 18.  Please.  You have been warned.  We are all adults here.

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I was watching TV today (which is my first mistake), and I saw probably the fifteenth different segment talking about how Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James was changing the sex lives of women and their husbands.  I suppose this isn’t too unusual, considering how much publicity this book (and subsequent sequels) is getting.  My head exploded when I realized they were talking about it on Dr. Oz. That’s right; Dr. Oz has read Fifty Shades of Grey. 

I have read this book, and the sequels.  They are very sexually explicit, and erotic.  I will not deny either of those points.  I can see how they can be used to spice up sex lives.  The idea of exploring your sexual limits and playing out the roles of a submissive and a dominant can be very exciting.  I have no problem at all with any of that.  I think two consenting adults should be able to dabble in any and all things sex without fear of repercussion.

My problem is with the way Ana and Christian related to each other outside of the bedroom.  I am fearful that woman will read this and think Christian controlling EVERY DETAIL AND ASPECT of Ana’s life is OK.  It’s not.  I know this book is modeled after Twilight, and I had the same problem with that book too.

I can hear you all rolling your eyes at me.  You are all screaming, “Well, if you are so smart, what should we read instead?”  I have an answer. 

I wrestled with comparing these two series before I starting writing this.  The books I am going to talk about could be considered very controversial in their own right.  I don’t want to damage the good name of the writer that I adore by making this comparison, but as I was reading Fifty Shades, these were the stories I kept coming back to.  They are very sexy books that explore many of the different aspects of sexual pleasure while telling a fantastic story about some very strong characters.

I am talking about the Kushiel’s Legacy series by Jacqueline Carey.  These nine books, (Yes, nine.  Three trilogies actually.) are some of the best I have read.  They cover a lot of sexual fantasy type things that may be lingering in the backs of mommy’s minds everywhere. The difference between these books and the Fifty Shades series is the characters.  The men and women in these books are in control of their own lives.  Very in control.  The choose what to wear, who they are with, where they go, how they travel, what they eat, the friends they see, EVERYTHING.  Every decision they make, even ones regarding their sexual relationships, are their own. 

Now, I can hear you all tapping away at your keyboards and looking up these books.  Some of you are even researching what they are about.  A few of you are shocked at what you find.  Let’s get that conversation out of the way.

You: You say you like this book better than Fifty Shades of Grey?  *Holds up Kushiel’s Dart*

Me: Yup, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

You: But, there is “prostitution” in this book.

Me: Yes there is.

You: There is homosexuality in here too.  Not just lesbians, but gay men too.

Me: That’s a fact.

You: People like pain in here?

Me: Yes, some give it, others receive it.

You: There is even a reference to a made up religion that is very similar to, and has roots in, something I already believe in, and it makes me uncomfortable.

Me: A true statement indeed.

You: Then why on earth would I want to read it?

Me: You might not want to. 

You: Why are we having this conversation again?

I don’t want to force anyone to read something that might go against something very fundamentally important to them.  I do, however, want to encourage people to read something outside of their comfort zone if it might benefit them.  People are reading Fifty Shades because it is helping to spice up their sex lives.  I believe Kushiel’s Dart could do the same thing.

In Terre d'Ange, everyone is encouraged to “love as thou wilt.” In fact, it is the basis of their faith.  There are houses of pleasure that make up the heart of the economy that cater to each and every aspect of pleasure, sexual and otherwise.  The people of Terre d'Ange do pay for these services.  It is a form of prostitution, and in some cases, servitude.  That can be a little hard to look past, and I respect that.  The main difference is everyone that is involved with the “court of the night blooming flowers” makes their own choices.  They choose who they see, the patrons they take in, the acts they preform, and even if they continue in the service.  To have that taken away from them is a sin.

The main character in Kushiel’s Dart, Phèdre nó Delaunay, is such a strong woman.  She fights through all of the books she is in to do right, to learn more, and most of all, stay true to who she is.  She learns how to read people, and becomes quite good at it.  Good enough that she acts as a “spy”.  She works to avenge those who took care of her when they are taken away too soon.   She becomes fluent in languages quickly, and works as an ambassador of sorts, for her government before her adventures are through.  She falls in love, in her own time, in her own way, to a man that accepts her for who she is.  He would never dream of trying to make her into something she isn’t.

That doesn’t even cover the sex and erotic fantasy covered in these books. I won’t go into too much detail, but if that is what you are looking for, it’s here.  I will caution you by saying there is a lot of BDSM.  Some, in fact, is quite violent. It might not be for everyone, but that is true of most things I suppose.

That said, I don’t believe the Fifty Shades books are all bad.  The underlying story is what kept me reading through the entire series.  Once you get past all the Dom/Sub crap, and Christian being the possessive ass hat that he is, you will find that he is just a broken little boy looking for someone to put him back together. The way in which he found to cope with his broken-ness, was obviously wrong on so many levels.  At the time, though, he really didn’t know that.  All he saw in himself was someone who was unworthy of love, and only knew pain.  This is enough to break anyone.

Ana, through most of the story, seems like a bit of a damp wash rag to me.  She is willing to go along with anything thrown her way, just as long as Christian says it’s what he wants.  It took a long time for her to realize her limits, and take action to stop Christian before things went too far.

I HATE that she allowed him to take over so much of her life.  Before they even went on their first date, he knew her entire family history, her job, her bank account information, everything.  He could pull any string or push any button and change her entire life without her permission!  When she tried to get a job separate from his company, he bought the company.  When she tried to visit her mom, he showed up at the hotel.  He forced her to go on hormonal birth control when he tired of using condoms!!!!!!! In a later book, he cried, whined, got pissed off, and used sex to get her to change her name after they got married!!!  This is wrong! 

OK, I know this is fiction.  I understand that many of you reading this book are going to tell me that just because it makes you all hot and bothered, doesn’t mean it’s going to change how you allow men to treat you.  To you I say thank you.  There are women, and young ladies, that will allow it to change their perception.  This is what I worry about. 

There are women out there that are already in bad relationships that are going to look at this story and say, “You know, I like this kind of sexual stuff too.  Perhaps I should let a man control every aspect of our relationship just to get the sexual release I want.”  NO!!! DO NOT DO THIS THING!!!  You can have your sexual desires met without giving up control of your life.  There are men that are willing to play out your fantasies, and theirs too, without cutting you off from the things that make you YOU!!!!  No one other person, whether you are sexually compatible with them or not, should keep you from the things, people, and pastimes you love!  THIS IS ABUSE!!  AAAHHHRRRGGGGG!! &%&#*(&^$*$#()^&#@*)^&$*#)*^_)#@&$(*&_*(^&$*_(*_%&#(*@!!!!

OK, I’m better now.

Look, I realize that Kushiel’s Dart and the rest of Jacqueline Carey’s series could be classified as messed up, much of Fifty Shades of Grey, and the rest of E L James’ series.  I just want women (and men too) to know that there are other books out there that may get you the desired results that don’t lead you to believe that all relationships work that way.  Edward controlled Bella in Twilight.  Christian controls Ana in Fifty Shades of Grey.  No one controls Phèdre, any more than she lets them, in Kushiel’s Dart.

The moral of my story is: If you are into erotic stories, and you want something different, and I think better, pick up one of Jacqueline Carey’s books.  Please.

I am going to go eat a cookie and pet my dog now.

Ohio school shooting.

I have been watching the news the past couple of days concerning the school shooting in Ohio with sadness and fear.  When I watch the news, sometimes I forget my kids are old enough to watch it too, and understand a lot of what they see.  Last night Annie reminded me.

She was standing in the living room with Russell and me after dinner, trying to plan for the rest of the evening when the story came on.  I could see her reaction brewing on her face, and my heart started racing because of her fear.

She asked me if that could ever happen in Wabash.  Now, I am not in the habit of scaring my kids to prove a point.  I think there other ways to teach them about the problems and horrors the world could throw at them, and still keep them safely informed.  Last night, I am pretty sure I scared her.

I told her (and her dad told her too) that something like that has a small chance of happening in our mostly quiet little town, but there was no promise it wouldn't.  We told her to always keep her phone on her, which she said she did anyway, and if someone ever started threatening the class and she had no where to run, to hide.  We explained that in this case, hiding was her best option to stay alive and unharmed.  We told her to pick a good spot, quickly, out of the line of sight of the aggressor, and to stay as quiet as possible while calling 911.  She agreed, and really took us seriously.

After she left the room, I really started to feel horrible for having scared her that way.  Russ and I talked about it, and he made me understand that it was a necessary evil.  At the time, I accepted it and went about my business. Today, though, I don't want to accept it.  It sickens me to think I have to worry about my kid being shot and killed at school. 

I understand that the people who commit these crimes are usually pushed to a point of no return by a bad home life, or a mental imbalance.  Sometimes, and this might be one of those cases, it is due to bullying. 

Parents, I really think we need to take responsibility for this bullying epidemic.  No one wants to admit their kid isn't fitting in anywhere and is the target of being bullied anymore than we want to admit our kid is a bully, but with our kids we have to put our pride on the back burner.  We need to remind our kids to come to us when someone is treating them in ways they don't approve of, and to take action when no on else will. 

We also need to humble ourselves and properly discipline or get help for kids who are harming others.  Kids don't bully just for the joy of doing it, they do it because something isn't right in their lives.  It is our job to fix it.

I don't want this to come across as blaming anyone for the Ohio shooting.  Sometimes, these things just can't be stopped before they spiral out of control.  I sincerely send my thoughts, prayers, and well wishes to everyone there while they try to heal from this tragedy.  Honestly, I hope this is the last time we ever have to hear about something like this, and the advice I had to give my daughter goes unused and forgotten long after her grandchildren have children.  I just think we, as parents need to talk with our kids about this and try and make them understand the importance of preparedness. 

We also need to remind them that it is not OK for anyone, anytime, anywhere, to treat them like they are less than a person.  No one should harm them with words or with physical violence.  The kids need to start at the school, and try to fix the situation by telling a trusted adult.  If there is no one willing to help them, they need to tell us so we can do whatever it takes to get it stopped, and repair the damage before it's too late. 

Again, my thoughts and prayers got out to all those in Ohio today. 

Long time, no blog.

Hello, all!  I didn't realize it had been so long since I had posted here.  I suppose I got busy, and let time, as well as my commitment to my blog, get away from me.  Eh, stuff happens, I suppose.

I know people talk a lot this time of year about New Years resolutions, or the fact they have already broken them, but I am doing my best to hold myself accountable for my actions.  I suppose that is my 2resolution in it's basic form.  For too long I have been cruising through my days  without really justifying any of my actions.  This means I would play Skyrim all day long, and then wonder why I still had all this stuff left to do, and no motivation to do it.  Now, I have to do the things that need done, before I can plant myself on the couch for a marathon of killing Foresworn, and collecting treasure.

Part two of my resolution is to get healthy.  I have cut back on the amount of sugar I eat, almost completely cut soda out of my diet, and cut my caloric intake by quite a bit.  I made a bad habit of eating everything that wasn't nailed to the floor over the holidays, and it shows. I am also moving a lot more.  I love to take walks outside, but it is January in Indiana, so that isn't always realistic.  Instead, I am making use of the YMCA membership, and I find that I like it.  It feels good to set goals work up a good sweat too!

Thing three, I am writing a book.  Rather, I am writing a trilogy.  I started writing in November for NaNoWriMo, and completely got the basic story, start to finish, written!  That was the goal that started this resolution, and it felt wonderful to finally get something finished that I always wanted to do.  While writing, I found I could continue the story into at least one, and likely two, more books!  I have a lot of editing to do before the first book is anywhere near ready to be read by anyone, but I am really optimistic about it.  The second book has exactly five paragraphs.  

Now, on to updates!!

I had a wonderful Christmas and Thanksgiving with my family.  We ate way too much food, and the house looked like a toy store exploded all over, but I do believe everyone was happy.  That, in my opinion at least, was the most important part.  We spent New Years at home playing games with the kids, and watching TV.  It was quiet, (as quiet as four kids can be.) and lots of fun too!  Paige beat me in  game of Skip-Bo, and we had home made Chocolate milk shakes.


I read several books in the bast few months.  I hope I can remember them all, most were really good.

First A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin.  I really loved the ending of this book.  The action was exciting, and well worth the length, and build up of the story.

The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson was so exciting!  There was a lot of action, and lots of mystery, in this book playing on the Jack the ripper murders.  It is age appropriate for young teenagers too.

The Last Little Blue Envelope also by Maureen Johnson.  This was such a sweet ending to this story. There was just enough romance to make you emotional at times, and the quest from Ginny's aunt was as eccentric as she was with a satisfying ending.

Naamah's Blessing is the third book in the third trilogy of the Kushiel's Legacy series by Jacqueline Carey.  In this story, Moirin goes home to the homeland of her father only to find out she has to leave and go on another adventure before going back home to her mother, and starting a family with her new husband Bao.  The adventure was beautifully described in every detail.  I could picture the landscape and faces of each one of the people.  I was drawn in to Moirin's dilemma with her destiny, and her want to go home.  I cried so much in the end, but it was a fulfilling and satisfying end.  I am not afraid to admit how much I hope there is more to this series.

I feel like there are more books that I have read, but I can't remember what.

Anyway, I think that is all for now.  I will update on my weight loss, hopefully weekly, and progress of the writing as well.

Thanks for reading!