I was going to join in, but I have spent far too many therapy sessions working through how much it sucks not to be heard to do it.
The problem with staying silent, is that is what the attackers, abusers, and molesters want. Now, I know you are saying "Hope, should you really be putting internet trolls in the same class as abusers and rapists?" Yes, and no, I suppose. You see, lots of people have been physically harmed by being stalked on the internet. Others have had their home lives, personal lives, and general safety ruined by threats made outside of the internet. Melissa Anelli is a good example of what happens when internet stalking turns real.
I also think we can take this opportunity to speak up about bullying, and abuse in general. So often, we get beat down by our abusers, bullies, and trolls, that we see speaking up as a way of pushing them to hurt us more. This is one thing I can say I have experienced first hand. Rather than seeking out help by screaming until someone acts, we crawl into ourselves, and try to become as inconspicuous as possible so that, maybe, just maybe, our aggressors won't notice us that day. By doing this, we subject ourselves to living every day in fear, never knowing when the next attack is going to happen.
It has to stop.
I'm a mom of four awesome kids; three, strong, resilient, and beautiful daughters, and a sweet, amazingly compassionate son. As far as I know, their experience with bullying and abuse has been very limited. The encounters that I have heard about have been easily defused, and short lived.
Thank goodness for that.
The problem is that, as they get older, and are more often not in my direct supervision, I know the chance that someone could abuse them becomes exponentially higher. Now, I'm not saying people are bad. On the contrary, most of the people I have encountered in this life, are inherently good. I honestly believe most are. The problem comes when they encounter one that isn't. I can't delude myself into thinking that it will never happen, and I refuse to let them, or anyone else's child, be subjected to the abuse that I was, that caused me to turn into myself for so long.
The thought of one of my children being hurt in such a way that they think they are worthless, not wanted, or generally believe things would be better if they didn't exist, like I once did, sends me into a full blown panic attack.
Frankly, it should you, as well. Even if you aren't a parent, the thought of ANY CHILD, ADULT, OR OTHER HUMAN BEING HARMED IN ANY WAY, should upset you. It should make you want to take action. It should make you want to speak up.
Did you hear me? I said, IT SHOULD MAKE YOU WANT TO SPEAK UP! You should feel compelled to stand in a densely populated area, and scream until someone pays attention to you. If no one hears you, or takes action (as has also happened to me), you need to move to a different group of people, and continue screaming in the hopes that they pay attention. You may have to scream yourself horse. You may anger, or alienate some people who don't want to get involved, or don't believe you. KEEP SCREAMING.
Your abusers will only stop their abuse when they are forcibly stopped. You may get a reprieve when they become scared they will get caught, but that won't last. Once they figure out that they can't be watched all the the time, the abuse will start again. YOU HAVE TO KEEP SCREAMING.
Even if you have only been assaulted once, via rape, beatings, muggings, or someone saying something incredibly hateful about who you are, you have to speak up. Those words, thoughts, and actions will become your inner dialog, and you will believe that the assault was your fault. This can lead to depression, self harm, substance abuse, or even suicide. You must understand that abuse is NEVER YOUR FAULT!!! The only person at fault if someone is being harmed, is the person doing the harmful thing. You don't have to put up with it. Your life doesn't have to be lived this way. YOU CAN MAKE IT STOP.
I know today is supposed to be a day of #twittersilence, but I can't sit by and not say something. This subject is far to important to me to sit idly by, and not speak out. The thing is, we all need to speak out. We all need to stand up for the ones that can't find their voice, and do something to stop the abuse, assaults, rapes, and bullying, that seems to go on far too often. We should be tweeting (Facebooking, tumblring, google+-ing, you tubing... you get the point) links to help for those feeling suicidal. We should be appealing to the different social media sites to make their abuse links more accessible. We should be informing people of the shelters in their areas that will help you out of an abusive relationship. We need to set up anti-bullying clubs in our schools, with peer advocates, to help our children. We need to prosecute rapists, and protect the victims and their families from abuse at the hands of the aggressors. We need a comprehensive mental health system in this country that will treat the abused without stigma, so they will realize they are loved, worth it, and don't have to continue to be abused. We need that same system to treat the potential abusers, before they start abusing.
One of my favorite authors wrote a book about a girl who was abused, who lost her voice. Speak was a good example of what happens when no one does the right thing, and how standing up for yourself, while hard, has to be done, even if no one listens.
So, I'm saying no to #twittersilence. Instead, I want to stand up for the abused, the bullied, the tormented, the beaten, and the hopeless. I want to scream from the rooftops the importance of speaking out. I want to draw attention to the abuse, and the abusers, and get something done. I want it to stop. I want the different and misunderstood to be safe. I want the children to retain their innocence. I want timid and meek to become strong. I want SPEAK UP.
If you are being abused, bullied, staked, beaten, threatened, or just plain don't feel safe, there are resources, and people who care. Please, please, don't give up. Talk to someone. Talk to everyone. Speak up, and speak out. If no one listens, find someone who will. You don't have to live this way. You are loved. You are important. You are worth so much more.
National suicide hotlines: 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK
Born this way foundation: http://bornthiswayfoundation.org/help
Trevor project: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
Prevent child abuse: http://www.preventchildabuse.org/index.php
Bullying prevention: http://www.stopbullying.gov/
Rape, abuse, and incest national network: http://www.rainn.org/get-help/help-a-loved-one
Dating abuse information: http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/teens-and-dating-abuse/
Domestic violence help for men and women: http://www.dahmw.org/
Gay and lesbian help: http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
There are probably many more places to get help, but those are the once I could find right away. Please, please, STAND UP AND SPEAK OUT. Get help. Don't sit in silence.
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